Financial Therapy for the Upwardly Mobile
You are doing it - you are making it in this world. Moving up the socioeconomic ladder by at least one class, if not more. Making money. Being a professional. Living life differently than you did growing up. It should all be so easy with more money and stability, right?
It turns out, being upwardly mobile comes with its own set of struggles.
When you were younger, you might have imagined that having more money would solve many, if not all, of your problems. No more worries about money and what you could afford. More fun, more freedom, less stress. Maybe you dreamed about an exciting job that would not just pay you enough to survive, but would fulfill you and be stimulating. Maybe you read rags-to-riches stories. Maybe you had visions of big houses, like those you saw in movies (a Nancy Meyers home, anyone?). Maybe you wished for the day you could walk into a store and buy anything that catches your eye. Maybe you planned to be able to take care of your family and relieve your parents’ woes. You figured that if you could just get the right education and find the right positions, you would be set for life. You could take care of yourself and not worry so much about the future. Sure, you knew you would have some problems, but you envisioned that things would be so much different, so much easier, once you got older and could be the one who made it. You could work hard and fit in with the upper-crust… meet fancy people who dine in fancy restaurants for their fancy business meetings around the block from their fancy buildings. Once you had the right credentials, you could easily fit in with the rich. Once you had the degree(s), the positions, the paychecks, you would be one of them.
You did not realize that moving up the ladder would be filled with ambivalence and feeling out of your element, wherever you go.
Now you know that it is not as easy to have worked your way up in the world as you once imagined it would be. You do have more money than your family did. You never worry about paying your bills and having the essentials, and you can also purchase much of what you want. You have financial security, doing things like saving for retirement and calculating your net worth. What you did not realize in your younger years is that moving between classes takes an emotional toll on you. You have existed in two vastly different worlds, and your identity can be hard to wrap your head around. You feel like you do not quite fit into either part of your life - like your lower-income background invalidates your presence in upper-class spaces, and your wealthier adult life has moved you beyond a return to home. Perhaps some of your beliefs and values have shifted since you left home, and you relate to different kinds of people than you used to. Maybe you eat different foods, consume different media, have different hobbies, and look for different experiences out of life. A lot has changed.
Now you are left to make sense of these shifts in your identity, and you realize you might need some help.
It is coming to your attention that some of the financial beliefs and attitudes that you grew up with are in conflict with or are unhelpful to the life you are living now. You are getting curious about how your upbringing is currently shaping your money behaviors. You may be feeling imposter syndrome at times. You feel anxiety around money, but it feels different than what you felt growing up. You have felt guilt, pride, anger, and sadness at various times when comparing where you are to where your family still is. You wonder who is going to relate to you as you continue to succeed. You need to talk to someone you can trust with all of this, because how many people really understand this experience?
Financial therapy is a judgment-free space to talk through all your thoughts and feelings about your status as an upwardly mobile person. Together, we will walk through a timeline of your life with respect to finances and socioeconomic status and unpack what you were taught about money from your family and your culture. You will make connections between these old lessons and your current behaviors, and you will develop a healthier, safer, and more secure relationship with your place in life and your finances. You will learn how to integrate the different parts of yourself, and you finally have a safe, warm place to sort through all of your conflicting feels with someone else who gets it.
If you have no one else you can turn to when it comes to processing your upward mobility, I can help.
You need someone who can help you understand the whys behind your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. I can guide you through learning the psychology behind financial matters while walking alongside you as you process your feelings around your changing socioeconomic status. In a supportive and private environment, you can talk freely about all these different experiences you have had in your life with someone who has been in these shoes and also knows financial therapy.
So, whether you moved up the ladder through higher education, hard work, high-paying jobs, an inheritance, the lottery, etc., I am here for you. Whether you are another former Appalachian who grew up in the working class before getting into the Ivy League, a city kid far removed from your former neighborhood, an achiever from an immigrant family, or just a recipient of sheer luck, I can provide you with a confidential place to let it all out and move forward with more confidence in yourself. If you need somebody who can really see you, I may be just that person.
FAQ
I am cautious about how I spend my money. How do I know you are the right fit for me?
First, we will start with a free 15 to 20-minute phone consultation if you are interested in standard therapy or a free 25 to 30-minute phone consultation if you are interested in intensive therapy (more on that below). If you have a good/warm/curious feeling from that call, we can proceed with a first session and keep scheduling for as long as you like, based on how you feel about our work together! Please know that in therapy, you are never obligated to keep going beyond what you find helpful - you can terminate services at any time.
I think you might be a good fit for me, but I do not live in Colorado. Can I still see you for therapy?
If you are willing to travel to Colorado and schedule a therapy intensive with me, you can! A therapy intensive is a therapy session that is scheduled for longer than an hour, moves at an accelerated rate, and is scheduled less frequently than standard therapy. I can only provide therapy to people who are located within Colorado state lines at the time they are scheduled with me, but if you travel to me, I can provide you with either in-person or virtual therapy for one to three full days at a time. These therapy intensives are offered during weekends to help lessen scheduling difficulties.
I have a tough schedule and cannot schedule weekly therapy. Do I have any other options?
Yes, you do - I am available to schedule other kinds of intensive therapy sessions that are not necessarily a full day long but take place longer than an hour; for example, you may want to schedule a single 3 to 4-hour session with me once every month or 6 weeks if you want to engage in therapy but have a demanding schedule. As with daylong sessions, sessions that are 3 hours or longer are eligible to be scheduled on weekends. If this sounds a little intense, it is, but many clients report long sessions as more helpful than 50-minute sessions!
I think I am sort of interested in these services, but I am not ready to commit to financial therapy yet. Do you have any suggestions that would help me decide if this would be a good commitment for me?
First, I would suggest writing or journaling about this dilemma - what on this page brought up questions, thoughts, and feelings for you; how do you think therapy could be helpful; and what would make financial therapy unhelpful for you? I also recommend the book Mind Over Money by Brad Klontz and Ted Klontz to gain a better sense of what financial therapy can do for you - it allows you to dip your toes into the water. I would encourage you to find other nonfiction books about other people who have moved up in the world (my current favorite, released in 2024, is Jonathan Corcoran’s memoir No Son of Mine).