Marriage Counseling for Infidelity
Connection and healing are possible after infidelity.
You do not have to tackle this crisis alone.
Cheating. One of you has done it, and the other is reeling from this discovery. You both are feeling panic, shame, and confusion. Your emotions are on a roller coaster - you feel more than you ever thought you could in such a short period of time. You feel surprised by how widely your feelings swing. Shock. Grief. Rage. Desire. Love. Guilt. Desperation. Indecision. Hatred.
You have no idea where to even start.
You know that your options are down to couples therapy or a divorce. You desperately need a third party to sit down with you both, someone who does not know either of you…someone who is not biased, like the family and friends who just want to protect each of you. You thought that your relationship hit rough patches before, but this storm has shown you just how bad things can get between you both. You both are drowning and you need support, but this crisis is too big to navigate on your own and has surpassed the resources you normally have to deal with relationship problems.
You don’t have to face this alone - I am ready to guide you through all of your questions, concerns, fears, and needs.
You are wondering if it is possible to stay together - happily - after infidelity. How long it will take to get there, if at all. If you really have the capacity to give this process the time and energy you have been told it needs. How things went so wrong. How you could be so foolish.
And if you are willing to try therapy for this, each of you has one big question on your mind…
If your partner cheated on you: How can I ever trust that you will never do this to me again?
If you were unfaithful: How can I trust that you will truly forgive me and stop punishing me once this is all said and done?
This is support I can provide you with: I help couples like you in the aftermath of infidelity survive the immediate crisis and later decide how to move forward with your marriage so that you do not decide to divorce based on uncertain feelings or stay stuck in disconnection for years. I do this by helping you understand why the cheating has occurred and how to rebuild a stronger marriage.
Here is how I can help:
In our sessions together, we will start with information about how therapy for infidelity recovery works. (Spoiler alert: it is NOT a quick fix - this work takes time, energy, and discomfort.) I will give you each the space to express your emotions about what has happened, and I will help you feel as if this crisis is being contained and managed so that your roller coaster-like feelings start to even out. If you are the betrayed partner, your emotions especially will get a lot of care and attention; if you are the unfaithful partner, you will learn how to express your remorse while also receiving compassion from me. After we have spent some time helping you get your feet back on the ground, we will move on to exploring why the cheating happened and taking ownership of the contributing elements. Finally, we will continue working to strengthen your intimacy with each other and making final assessments about the viability of your marriage.
Throughout this entire process, I will help you each build safety with me and with each other to share your emotions in session. You will learn what it takes to rebuild trust, and I will guide you with questions to explore how you got to this point. When you end therapy, you just might feel like you can communicate better than you ever did and are now more honest and intimate with each other than ever before. This is the hope that exists after cheating has happened in your relationship: you can repair, even if it seems impossible at the beginning. You can even experience strength that you did not have prior to this crisis.
