The Benefits of Couples Therapy Intensives
Couples therapy intensives can be life-changing for some couples. If you are not yet familiar with this concept, intensives are accelerated therapy sessions that differ in format from the typical hourlong session happening every week or two; instead, therapy happens over the course of several hours and can last up to a full day! Some intensives last for several days in a row, and others are spaced out over the course of a few weeks or maybe a month or two. This format of therapy offers several benefits for couples who are considering counseling - take a look below and see if this would be a better fit for you than standard therapy. (PS - I also love regular hourlong therapy! Some clients are more suited to one or the other. Keep reading to learn about the possible advantages to this newer format.)
You do not have to find a weekly time you can commit to for the next 3 or 6 or 12 months.
Many people are hesitant about starting therapy because their schedules already feel full and they are not sure how they can add a standing therapy appointment to their calendar (and it is double the scheduling headaches with a couple!). This is perhaps one of the greatest advantages of intensives: you can cover the equivalent of weeks or months of therapy in one go. The person who is constantly overscheduled is a great candidate for this format, given that you have fewer blocks of time to set aside for counseling. Many people find intensives efficient in covering the same amount of content and processing you typically would in a regular round of therapy, but in just a few days instead. A bonus: if you block off, say, a full weekend for marriage therapy, you can lean into the retreat-like atmosphere and feel more open to the process than you might in weekly sessions! You can even travel out of state and book intensive counseling in a locale that gives off vacation vibes to you and your partner and enjoy amazing views and good food to truly turn counseling into a fun and luxurious experience.
You do not have to wrap up right as you are getting to the good stuff.
Some of my clients’ most frequent concerns are around needing to close a session just when we get to a pivotal point in their work. Maybe we have just touched upon a moment of vulnerability that is behind conflict with your partner, or we are just in a good space to try a new method of communication between the two, but we have to wrap it up quickly due to the clock running out. With an intensive, both I and my clients are given the luxury of more spaciousness and patience in our work together - we have the time to go slow and go deep, and you really get the support you need that you will not find in any other environment in your life. This is the real benefit of therapy: slowing down enough to hit on the lightbulb moments, the brave acts of reaching for each other when you are scared to do so and it takes a little extra to get you there, the time to practice something new and unfamiliar - and longer sessions are the perfect vessel for this. You probably will not end a daylong session feeling conflictual or with tears running down your face, which is more common when we do the quick wrap-up at the 50-minute mark. So, if you enjoy being given the time to really process what is going on with you and your partner and want to discover what is going on in your relationship without being rushed, you might prefer intensives to regular sessions.
You *might* save money…but if not, you will definitely save time.
Finances are a factor in making decisions about therapy for many people. It is hard to tell if you will save money or not by choosing intensives over standard counseling - this depends on many factors, like the fit between you and your therapist, how long you want or need to continue therapy, and what pricing and payment look like. Inevitably there are couples who would spend less doing standard therapy, as regular sessions are generally priced lower per hour than they are during an intensive. However, if you have trouble with attending all scheduled sessions, maintaining momentum during the process (especially if you are not meeting weekly), and struggle to implement what you have learned at home, you may find yourself needing more standard sessions than you would otherwise, as you may be taking longer to get to points of transformation. Married couples like this may find themselves saving money if they are able to commit to the intensive process. If you do not save money with an intensive, you likely are saving time, and if this is something you value, please consider this format. This is the best therapy option for clients who have more money than time and value efficiency in their life.
You get a personalized experience with a focus just on you and your relationship.
Another highlight with sessions lasting several hours or days is a singular focus on you and your partner. Now, of course when you are present with your therapist for a regular session, you are their sole focus - but how often are you and your partner singularly focusing on what is coming up in your session? Many couples benefit from not worrying about work, kids, and other stressors of normal life for the duration of their intensives; it may be easier for you to focus on your relationship and how to improve it without all the other noise in the background. If your standard appointment is not cutting it when it comes to you getting the time, space, and energy you need to really get the most of therapy, you are an ideal candidate for intensives. You also get the opportunity to really plan out and specify with your therapist what you want to work on and truly customize the experience, giving you the best of both worlds: a schedule created to fit your unique wants and needs with the flexibility of changing directions as you dig into your relationship and stumble upon new insights!
You learn new tools and skills.
Sure, you learn new techniques and exercises during regular therapy. You will learn the same information in an intensive, but you will fall into a different rhythm with learning. Your therapist has more time to teach you new ideas without being rushed and can slow you down to make sure you are understanding what you are working on. My clients leave their intensives with a collection of exercises we used in their sessions, plus further suggested tools and readings based on our time together that they can implement on their own to keep investing in their relationship. If you felt you really benefited from an intensive, you may feel more motivated to continue investing in your partnership through education and skills than you would otherwise (I commonly hear from couples who meet with me on a more biweekly basis that it is actually harder to prioritize implementation of new concepts outside of session with this lower frequency). Get ready to enjoy long-term investment in one of the most important pieces of your life - your relationship with your partner!
